Raditude – Weezer (November 2009)

Before I even listen to this album, there are a few things I can say about it.  Rivers Cuomo went off the deep end with 2005’s notoriously awful Make Believe, and despite the popularity of the pretty devoid of humor video for their song “Pork And Beans,” (“Internet references!  We’re so hip!”), The Red Album was about as musically interesting as a bag of dicks going through a trash compactor, if not less so.  Fine, that would be somewhat interesting, but my point is that The Red Album was an awful album.  Now I don’t hate Weezer.  They had four good to great albums, really.  The Blue Album, Pinkerton, The Green Album, and Maladroit were all at least solid.  Hell, Pinkerton was inspired.  Suddenly, Rivers Cuomo writes a non-ironic song about wanting to live as a celebrity in Beverly Hills.  I suspect that the implications behind this song pretty much represent why he has gone so marvelously insane.

The admittedly catchy “Beverly Hills” represented an artist realizing that he probably deserved to be recognized by a then-uncaring public.  Think of the story of one of my heroes, Paul Westerberg, for a second.  In 1984, Paul Westerberg realized that he had the potential to take The Replacements to become one of the best bands of all time.  I think he accomplished that, but he desired celebrity.  In 1989, he threw down the expertly-crafted Don’t Tell A Soul down to the public in hopes that songs like “I’ll Be You”, “Achin’ To Be”, and “Back To Back” would gain airplay.  The populace proceeded to not really give a damn, and Paul Westerberg’s ego was crushed into oblivion, leaving him to create the most depressingly un-ambitious but musically genius solo albums that you’ve ever–who am I kidding?–never heard.  Musicians have tended to stray from the amazingly catastrophic Paul Westerberg approach, but Rivers Cuomo soldiers on, not really giving a care.

So when Rivers Cuomo tried appealing to the public, it worked, but was he recognized as a genius?  Oh, whoops, looks like he forgot to present himself as intelligent.  The man went to Harvard and Beverly Hills is where he wants to be.  How cute.  The Red Album tried to bring back the clever nerdiness of albums past, but at the point everyone just realized that Rivers was a silly, silly little man.  To the general person, he’s not cool-nerdy like David Byrne or Buddy Holly.  He’s foolishly nerdy like, man, I can’t even finish that comparison.  Rivers Cuomo sure is silly!

Enter Raditude.  Whoa, what on earth is that name?  Are you kidding me?  That sounds like something that Dwight Schrute would come up with after doing something amazing, probably involving bears.  Okay, you’ve seen the title, take it all in.  Okay, get out your computer and Google Image “Raditude”.  Are you sitting down?  Yikes, right?  That’s patently ridiculous.  Notice I haven’t talked about the album yet.  The idea of Raditude is so much more interesting than the actual album, which at this point in the article I have not yet heard.  Now here is where things get galactically absurd.  Look at the song titles.  “I’m Your Daddy”.  “The Girl Got Hot”.  “Can’t Stop Partying”.  What on earth?  Also, that last one features Lil Wayne.  I like Lil Wayne, but if you’re making a rock album and you want to feature a rapper in the most surreal way possible, you’re going to give that man a call.  Before I even hear Raditude, I have a feeling that this is the apex of Rivers Cuomo’s startling descent into insanity that no other artist that I can think of has exhibited.  Now to actually listen to what is sure to be a swirling vortex of confusion.

Okay, I just listened to Raditude.  That was the most preposterous experience of my life, and this one time I heard Michael Bay give himself a compliment.  It starts out pretty tolerable.  No, really!  “If You’re Wondering If I Want You To (I Want You To)” isn’t exciting by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s, uh, competent.  On “Can’t Stop Partying”, the album’s smartest moment happens during Lil Wayne’s twenty-second appearance.  “Don’t shoot me down, I’m an endangered species”.  Heh, that’s probably a joke rejected from Tha Carter IV.  Bye, Weezy.

“I stepped to the floor with Jill/And tried to thicken the plot/The thing I finally found with these others girls in town/She got hot, they did not” is basically what these lyrics look like on average.  I mean, sure, it’s an album about partying, but what’s a good party if the music sucks and the kids are lame?  Oh, by the way, the deluxe edition ends with a medley that includes Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”.  Yeah, I don’t even know what to say about that one.

Raditude is a lot like junior high.  You’re tolerable for about three minutes, your stupidity is annoying no matter how little you try to make that matter, and all of your music sucks.


Published in: on December 1, 2009 at 9:21 AM  Comments (1)  

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  1. yeah there are only like 2 or 3 songs off that album i consider listenable at all. terrible terrible album.

    i hate to jump on the bandwagon, but they just need to make another pinkerton type album

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